What You Make It
by FictionInReality
Summary: A family is where your love is"- an essay by Ryan Atwood about his family. One-Shot.


Family Ties 

In years past, the average American Family has become as typical as a 1950's sitcom. Generally, it consists of a mother, a father, 2.3 children, a dog and/or cat, and a nice three-bedroom house in the suburbs. So therefore, when I received this essay _(Describe your family. Do you believe that they fit the bill as an average American family?) _as a practice college acceptance essay, I was conflicted. Mostly because I'm not sure which family I am supposed to write about.

I suppose I could write about my family that had me the first sixteen years of my life, but that may shock the reader of this essay. So let me shock you (If there's anything that my father has taught me, it's to never let anyone stand in the way of my expression of individuality). I was born in late 1987, to a blonde woman and a brunette man, with an older brother who looked somewhat like me.

The blonde woman, Dawn, was said to be my mother. For those of you reading this who have no idea what a mother is, a mother is a person who protects, loves, and cares for you. Which my mother did. For the first few years of my life, anyway. But then, she allowed herself to slip away from me. She began drinking and forcing me to lie for her. She'd bring home boyfriends who would beat me and enable her in her drinking.

These boyfriends were the result of my father, world-class screw-up (There's so many words that I can use here, but as this is for school, I'll keep the language down.), landing himself in jail on robbery charges when I was five years old. Which left me with mom and Trey. That's it. That's all on my father. There's nothing to write about a man you don't know.

Then I have Trey. A brother is said to be your best friend, someone who knows you better than anyone else in the world. Trey knew things, but nothing about me. He attempted to bring me down his path, and he succeeded, for which I praise him supremely. Trey forced me to come with him when he stole a car. And we got caught. Which sent me to juvie, and eventually to where I am now.

My other family that I could write about is the family that has had me for almost two years now. I live with Sandy, Kirsten, and Seth Cohen, an "upper-middle class", as Seth puts it, family living in Newport.

We should start with Kirsten, because as we all know at home, everything starts with Kirsten. Kirsten is my mother. She watches me, carefully, to make sure that I do my homework. That I eat right. That I do my chores. Sometimes she nags (my brother always whines), but I love it. Because it means that she cares. I guess having an uncaring mother makes you appreciate your mother's nagging. My mom keeps everything organized in the house. She's the center point of everything going on. She makes sure we're all up and running, even when she has minor breakdowns herself. For a woman raised in a sheltered environment, she really knows how to run things. The only thing she's not allowed to do is cook. But that's a different story for a different time (with different people, perhaps). While I love my mother more than I think she knows, I feel like I don't verbalize it enough. It's not that I don't want to. It's that I don't know how.

As I'm writing this, my brother is running into the room in a frantic search for his new Legion comic. When I came to Newport, I found solace in a friend. One of the greatest and most unlikely friends I've ever made. Seth is what was considered a "geek" (to those who didn't know him). He didn't have friends and was a loner by definition. When I came to his room the first time, though, I was struck instantly by the personality blaring at me. He knew what he was talking about with music, TV, books, and video games. And he was interesting. But most importantly, he was warm and welcoming. I bonded with him before anyone else in my family. Seth and I have a tradition that we started when I first moved into the house- every other Sunday night, we sit together and watch movies, play video games, or read comic books. It's Seth-Ryan time, as my brother calls it. Some people may find it weird, stupid, or "gay" (a common insult amongst my mature peers). I, however, look forward to this time of week. This is the relationship that I never had with Trey. My brother is my best friend, and not necessarily in that order. I love my brother not because he's my brother and I have to. I love him because he's my best friend and he's always there for me (especially when we're in trouble with the "parental units".

Finally, we come to Sandy Cohen. This man is my savior. I was on the wrong path in life, following in my brother's footsteps because I didn't know there was another path to follow. Suddenly, when I was in Juvie and my mother abandoned me, Sandy came to my rescue. He let me live with his family, and soon took legal guardianship of me. (I remember allowing myself to cheer internally when I found out. I never told Seth, though, because the mocking would never have ended.) My father is the glue that holds my family together. He makes sure that my mother doesn't have a nervous breakdown, my brother doesn't spend too much time with his video games, and that I don't ever go down the wrong path again. I've never seen a man love his family like Sandy Cohen does. A man with his own law practice who still forces his family to have a family game night once a week? That's dedication. Even his groundings are filled with love and concern. I'm not going to go so far as to say that I love being grounded, but it makes me feel good to know that someone cares. My father is my role model. I want to grow up to be him. Hopefully, I'll be as successful as he is and can pay him and my mother back for all the money they've spent on me (They'll never take it, but it's worth a shot). I really do love my father, and admire him more than anyone else in the world. It sucks that I can't verbalize that.

So there you have it. A short study on family, and what a family really is. I believe that the conclusion that I've reached is this- a family is where your love is. And my love is with the Cohens. They make me feel safe, comfortable, and loved. And I know I keep using the word love, but that's because it's new to me. I've never had parents who let me know that they love me before. So every night, as my mom and my dad say goodnight and tell me that they love me, I curse whatever disease I contracted as a child that prevents me from letting them know how much I love and appreciate them. A family is what you make it. Plain and simple.

PS- I know that this isn't how you wanted this to be written, but this needed to be said. And I'm not going to rewrite it. Because it's the most honest essay you'll get out of this class. Cherish it, and hope your kids feel the same way.


End file.
